Chicago, Baby!

Several months ago, at one of our girl-night-out dinners, my friend Allison mentioned that her 40th birthday was coming up.  She talked about how she wanted to go somewhere fun to celebrate.  After talking for a bit, a few of us decided that Chicago would be a fun place to do that.  I mean, I can't have her turning 40 and not feeling celebrated.....right?

So we started planning and this past weekend we had a blast in Chicago.  I had never been but it had certainly been on my list.  And it's probably now one of my favorite big cities ever.  Loved it!!

With the birthday girl

The "t" was rubbed off this sign but it was too cute to pass up.

At dinner Friday night.

The skating rink opened up for the first night of the season on Friday so we knew we had to experience that.

It was not pretty and I was not the most graceful ice skater.....and I just may have skimmed the perimeter with the side rail just inches from my reach......but I didn't fall and I didn't break a bone.  Mission accomplished

Millennium Park at night.  Super cool.

The famous bean.

Lots and lots of eating happened this weekend.

And this was sort of our motto.

If you ever watched Oprah then you know that Sprinkles was on one of her "Favorites" show.  We just had to see what all the fuss was about.

Saturday night, we had drinks up on the John Hancock Observatory on the 95th floor.  The views were amazing!!!

On Sunday, it was raining and stormy (even though that didn't stop us from getting out and hitting the town) but as the day went on.....it got worse and we were under a crazy tornado warning.  Our flight got delayed and we ended up getting back to Dallas around midnight.  Good times.

Love all the fun buildings and art pieces around town.  Here we are under the bean.

I love the reflection.  So neat!!

I think Chicago is such a pretty city.  I loved the buildings and parks.  The turning leaves were an added bonus.

Down at the lake.

Our last late lunch before heading back to the airport.  We had been rained on and were exhausted from 3 days of walking.

Our sweet friend, Laurie, didn't get to go with us this year.  So we just had to include her in one of our pictures. :)

Our weekend was full of laughs and lots of shopping.  We surprised Allison with a massage at the spa on Saturday morning and every one of us enjoyed that.  We walked to the Pier, bought the famous Garrett's popcorn, ate at wonderful restaurants (our rule was that we couldn't eat at any places we have here), and soaked in the city.

I had a wonderful time.....it was awesome to take off the mommy hat for a bit.  And I'm so thankful for sweet, sweet friends!  And I'm thankful for an awesome mom that takes and picks my boys up from school and a sweet hubby that hangs with the boys for the weekend so that I can get away.

Remarriage after Widowhood

I've spent over 2  years now trying to put this whole "widowhood" thing into words.  I'm not the best writer and I feel that I often stumble over my words or fail to find the right words to fully explain it.  When I found this post, I was so excited because every. single. word. that she writes is exactly how I feel.

I think I've been honest and real here.  I have wanted to show all sides of grief.  While I certainly feel God is in control.....there are also days when I'm mad and it hurts and I just don't want this life.  I think the hardest part for me is being remarried.....but still expecting people to understand that I'm not healed.  I'm still hurting and broken.  I think I always will be.  My fear is that people will see smiles in our pictures, read about fun places we get to visit, etc.....and think "wow, she's okay now."  But I'm not.  I really have no choice but to move forward and go on.  Even on days when I don't really want to.

So, instead of me continuing to fumble over my words, I'll just let you read this article for now.  Hopefully it will give you an understanding of what it's like to remarry after widowhood.

Have a great weekend!

Things That Make Me Happy

After my sad news on Friday.....which resulted in a bit of an emotional slump for me.....I decided to look around today and find things that make me happy.  This list might seem shallow but keep in mind that the obvious things that make me happy are my family, friends, our health, home, etc..... These are just icing on the cake.

I finally made a decision on the rain boots I've had my eye on for a while.  I went with this bright and cheery red color.  I just got them in and can't wait to wear them!  Trying them on today put a smile on my face.

Hudson's math tutor.  I could go ahead and just stop right there and my list would be complete.  He started last Monday and let me just say that I actually enjoyed my afternoons with my kids last week.  No arguing.  No googling equations.  No dicing onions while I try to explain prime numbers to my kid.  Worth every single cent!!

My first Christmas gift purchase arrived today.  I have my lists and am getting started.  My goal is to be finished by Thanksgiving.  I will not shop with the crazies this year.  I won't.

In less than 4 days I will be on a plane....with some of my sweetest friends....heading to a fun destination that's been on my bucket list for a while now.....enjoying a kid-free weekend.  So excited!

What has made you happy today?

Unexpected sadness

I've mentioned so many times on this blog that there have been some key people in my life that have done some amazing things for me.  After Jason died, I had friends (and even strangers) step up to the plate and provide for needs that I didn't even know I had.

Several years ago, I told Jason that I wanted a full top to bottom house cleaning for Valentine's Day.  We found a flyer in our Money Mailer (those paper coupons that get mailed to your house) and we made the call.  I spoke to a really nice lady and explained what I was looking for.

She sent her crew over to our house and cleaned every square inch of it.  It was awesome.  So awesome that we decided to have them come back every other week.  I've been using the same company off and on for the last 6 years or so.  I've somewhat come to know the owner......her company has a large crew of people that clean. Basically 7-9 people show up and they knock your house out in about an hour.  It's wonderful.  Sometimes she would come with them and sometimes she wouldn't but I've either talked to, texted, or seen Linda every other week for years.

After Jason died, I spoke with her and explain what had happened.  She was heartbroken.  She told me that her nickname for me has always been "Valentine" because of how we got started with her and even though she didn't know Jason personally, she knew that we were just a down-to-Earth normal family trying to raise our boys.  She told me that she wanted to clean my house without me paying her.  I felt weird about this but she wouldn't back down.  She cleaned my house for over 9 months and would not accept payment from me.  There were times in between that I would tell her "okay, it's been long enough....I'm going to leave a check for you." and she would say "don't bother because I won't cash it."  She told me that she wanted to pay it forward and she just really felt called to help me.  I can't fully put into words how touched and humbled I felt by this act of kindness.

Finally, when sweet boy and I got engaged I wrote her a lengthy letter telling her about our story and that I would be getting remarried soon. I told her that she blessed me beyond belief and that I was so very thankful for her.  I included a check to pay for that days cleaning and I told her that from now on, I WAS going to pay again.  She called me that night almost in tears because she was so happy for the boys and me.

My cleaning days were on Wednesday.  They would come every other week to clean and I was usually here to let them in.  Linda and I would touch base on Tuesday evening and she would usually text me with a time that they would show up the next day. This would give me time to take the sheets off and get them washed and dried and do some last minute picking up.

This past Tuesday night, I sent her a text asking what time they would be coming the next day.  I was trying to plan my day out and I wanted to be here to let them in.  I didn't hear back from her.....which wasn't a huge deal because she worked a ton and sometimes she would text me early on Wednesday mornings to let me know.  On Wednesday, I got the boys up and to school and came home and started on sheets.  I texted her again around 9:30 and never heard back.  The cleaning crew never showed up.  Wednesday night I sent her a text saying "hey, I never heard from you today.  I'm worried.  Everything okay?"  I didn't hear back.  I had a busy day at preschool on Thursday and thought about her parts of the day but never had a chance to check in.  I told sweet boy that night that I was worried something had happened.  On Friday morning I decided to call her.  Her normal voicemail message was replaced by just the automated one.  Hmmm, that was weird.  I got online and started googling her name and I decided to google for an obituary.  And I found one.

My heart sank as I read the words.  She had died on Monday.

I got a call later in the day from her son's best friend.  He told me that she had slipped in the shower, hit her head and basically hemorrhaged in her brain.  I didn't dare ask any more details other than what was provided because even though my curious mind wanted to know.....the bottom line is that she was gone.  None of the details really mattered.

I have been in a funk ever since.  Even though she and I were not best friends...she was a good person.  She was a wife.  She was a mom.  She was just 54.  And she blessed me in such a huge way during the most difficult time of my life.

I told her son's best friend that I wanted to share a story with him and I asked him to please pass this on to her family.  I have no idea if they even knew what she did for me but I wanted them to know.  I know how wonderful it's been for people to share Jason stories with me and I wanted to do the same for them.  I made sure they knew that she changed me.

Please keep Linda's family in your prayers.  Thank you, friends!!

More Than i Can Handle

As a Christian, I've heard the phrase "God won't give you more than you can handle" like a million times.  And before October 5, 2011.....I never really questioned it.  In fact, most people would preface this statement with "the Bible says......" and I believed it as truth.  I had no reason not to.

Shortly after Jason died, I started hearing this statement in regards to his death and my situation.  And for the first time ever, I thought to myself "bullshit  yeah right!!"  This statement felt wrong in every way possible.  My mind and my heart were telling me that this, in fact, was WAAAY more than I could handle.

First, I want to say that I know this statement was said to comfort.  This statement was ignorantly said to provide some sort of peace to a painful situation.  But it did just the opposite.  In fact, it minimized my pain and all I heard was "obviously your pain isn't too bad because God says He won't give you more than you can bear."

Please don't feel bad if you've ever spoken this phrase.  I am guilty of repeating it myself.  But did you know that this statement isn't Biblical?  Nope, it's not found in the Bible anywhere.

I had a friend share this blog post yesterday on Facebook and the moment I read it, I knew I needed to share it.  I decided to share it here as well because I know lots of you often ask how you can help others that are hurting.  Please read this article and educate yourself on this topic.  And whatever you do, please don't ever say it to someone!!

Another friend added this in the comments section of my post:

This made me laugh!!

Soup, Seeds, and School PIctures

It's been rainy here the last couple of days and for me, rainy days = soup days.  Really, I love soup so much that I can eat it year round but something about the fall/winter season that makes me want to make it more often.  If you haven't ever made Pioneer Woman''s Chicken Tortilla Soup then you are missing out. Seriously.  It's so good.  We had it for dinner last night.

On Halloween night, just as I was tucking Cooper into bed he says "We didn't carve our pumpkins."  Ugh!  How in the world did I forget that?  We painted them and went trick-or-treating and did all the usual Halloween stuff but somehow we managed to forget the carving.  Major mom fail moment.

I'll go ahead and blame it on sweet boys late hours.  He has been getting home really late from work and we have zero time during the week to do things like this.  Then, they spent the entire weekend at my mom's house last weekend......so I take no responsibility for this mishap.  :)  But I still feel like a slacker mom for not doing it.

So last night, we cut off the tops of their pumpkins and let them play.  They put their hands inside, scooped out all the seeds and did their thing.  That sort of counts, right?

I didn't roast the pumpkin seeds like I normally do.  Oh well.....there is always next year.  Maybe I'll have my act together by then.

I got the boys school pictures the other day.  They look so big to me!

Hudson is in 5th grade.  He loves science, Lego's, making comic books, and reading silly books like Diary of a Wimpy Kid and Captain Underpants.  He still likes to be goofy and be the class clown (even though I think he is bringing it down a notch or two)....he loves to make people laugh.  He also has a serious side to him too.  Hudson prefers to hang around the house with his family but will also enjoy getting out and experiencing life.....once we drag him there.  Ha!

Cooper is in 2nd grade.  He loves art, Lego's, and playing the piano.  He is getting really good at it too.  He participates in the morning running club at his school.  Cooper is very competitive and has such a passion for life.  He is extremely social and never wants to miss out on things.  Cooper is hard headed and strong willed but is probably the most sensitive kid I know.  He still loves to snuggle.

Love my boys!!

Kidless, a Baby Shower and the Switch Witch

My mom offered to take the boys for the weekend.  So on Friday, I took them to her house after school.  They were soooooo excited to spend 2 nights with her.  I love so much that they have sweet/involved/loving grandmas!

On Friday night, we did what every other lame normal couples does and we ordered our favorite pizzas from Palios and then crawled into our comfy bed and watched a movie.  Then we opened a bottle of dessert wine that we purchased at a winery in Napa.  Sad to say that it was a super nice and relaxing night and both of us said there is no other place we'd rather be. (okay, so maybe I'd rather be sipping wine on an island in the Caribbean but you know what I mean!)

On Saturday evening, we had a couple's baby shower for some of Shawn's friends.  Brad and Amy (pictured below) are also having a baby in December.

Rick and Dawn were so sweet and were the ones that hosted our wedding reception after we got married last year.  I was happy that we could share in this exciting time with them.

* apparently it was plaid night?

Sunday was our anniversary.  One year.  Wow.....in some ways it has gone by really fast and other ways I feel like we've been married a long time (in a good way)  We slept in and then ate lunch at Carrabas and did a little shopping at Best Buy before picking the boys up from my mom.  I know.....we really know how to live up a kid-free weekend!  Ha!  But it was nice and relaxing and just what we needed.

I've mentioned before that I really try to limit the amount of sugar the boys eat.  I think this really does play a huge role in the fact that they don't get sick a ton and neither of them have had a cavity.  I started participating in the Switch Witch tradition several years ago and it's a win-win for everyone.

Basically you take all the leftover candy from Halloween (we totally pigged out and they ate as much as they wanted on Halloween night.  Then, I let them take about 5-6 favorite pieces each to keep and the rest goes into a bag)  We set the candy out at night and the next day, the Switch Witch has come and replaced that with something fun they have been wanting.

She brought Season 5 of the Clone Wars....and they were thrilled.  See, everyone is happy!!

Have a great week!!