Shower and living together

On Sunday, some of my sweet church friends took me to Joe T's and showered me with some pretty lingerie!  It was such a fun night and I am so blessed with precious friends that are so genuinely happy for me and this new adventure.

Me, Allison, Tammie, Jeana, Julie, Tami, Laurie and Holly

 With Allison and Julie

Last night, we had the Fall Festival at church.  The boys had a great time on all the rides and the weather was perfect!

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Sometimes I forget that this blog is just a tiny snapshot into my life.  I post on here a few times a week but there is so much to me and my life that you don't get to see.  I often assume that people know my intentions but then I'm reminded that so many people that read this blog are strangers......and only know me from the words typed on this screen.

I had a reader post a question yesterday about Shawn moving in before the wedding and was wondering why we were "playing house" before we got married.  I wanted to take a minute and address that now:

Shawn and I knew we wanted to get married before the holidays were in full force.  We felt like it was a perfect time to really bond with the boys and feel like a family.  When looking at the calendar, we had to obviously work around the big holidays....and we also had to look at work schedules, my mom's schedule (since she would be watching the boys while we honeymoon), and the availability of our family for the wedding day.  November 3 was the clear wedding date for us but finding a Saturday to get him moved in proved to be more of a challenge.

Cooper will be going to Disney with Jason's mom and sister November 10-17.  They took Hudson when he was in the first grade and Cooper was just 3 at the time.  They said that when he got a little older that it would be his turn.  Well, it's his turn and he is so so excited!  Shawn and I decided to honeymoon while Cooper is gone so that my mom only has Hudson to take care of and get to school each day.  I think I'll enjoy myself more if I know things back home are easy for her.

So, the plan is to get married on Sat and stay in a nice hotel that night.  Some friends are hosting a reception for us on Sunday and then next week will be normal- getting the boys to school, work, etc..  Then we plan to leave on Friday and return late the following Sunday.  We will have a few days to recover, get caught up on laundry and then head out to visit family for Thanksgiving.  Lots of fun things in the works!

Because of that crazy/drawn out schedule....we found that there was really only 1 day where we could devote fully to moving.  Shawn spent days and weeks packing up his place and then the movers came last Saturday.  The goal was to get his stuff in our house and then spend this week trying to get it all put away and organized.  In no way were we wanting to play house early or did we feel the need to have him move in prematurely.  It just really had to happen that way if it was going to happen.

I mentioned from the very beginning that Shawn and I are Christians and we have put God's will for our lives as a top priority.  We have prayed all along this journey.....about so many aspects and with that has come a huge amount of peace.  In the post I wrote when I told the story of us dating, I briefly mentioned that we were honoring God in all areas of our relationship.....and I'm so happy to say that we still are.  It has certainly been hard but we have not physically crossed the line.  I'm so so proud of that and we both know that God will bless our marriage in such huge ways because of that!

The last few days, we have had the opportunity to talk to the boys about moms and dads living together, sleeping in the same bed, etc......  and I feel good that we have been able to be a solid example to them in this way.  I want nothing more than to be a good example for my boys and I'd never "play house" for a few days and taint that in any way.

I hope that his clears up any questions you might have in regards to us living together or putting God first in our lives.  Again, I just assumed that people knew how Shawn and I felt about this but I realized after the question yesterday that I didn't really explain the situation in full.  Please pray for us the next few days and weeks as we come together and blend this family.  We are so happy and excited to see what God has in store for us!

Red Ribbon and Moving Day

This past week was Red Ribbon week at school.  I forgot about crazy sock day....until the morning of.  I had to scramble because my boys only have plain white or black socks.  So, I dug through my socks and found these.  It's about as crazy as we get around here!

 Hat Day

 Our finished painted pumpkins

 It was moving day for a certain someone.  Yep, sweet boy moved in today!  We decided to get a head start so that next weekend we can focus on getting married and enjoying the weekend.  We hope to have everything put away before we leave for the honeymoon.

These 2 boys were glued to the front window.....asking me every 30 minutes when the truck would be here. They are beyond excited!!

Friday Favorites

1.  Revenge

Best. Show. Ever

2.  Apple Brickle Dip

This dip takes me back 12-15 years......back when I was up to my eyeballs hosting wedding and baby showers.  It's been years since I made this dip and I decided to make some this weekend. I just kind of wish I could make it and then forget what it's made of.  This dip is bad, bad, bad.  But it tastes oh so good!  Serve it with apples or any of your favorite fruit.  Or, I've heard it's good even if you eat it with a spoon straight out of the bowl. That's what I've been told :)

3.  Apple Cider Vinegar

It's no secret that I am drawn to natural/homeopathic remedies. (on a side note, I DO believe there is a time and place for medications....but I also believe our society is very medicine happy.) So in an attempt to not sound too granola, I'll just let you read about the benefits here and here.  I go through spurts when I'm really good at taking this.  Then I get out of the habit.  Shame on me.  But I do believe it has many helpful uses.  The most common thing I've used it for around here is to prevent/eliminate pink eye.  The handful of times the boys have gotten it, I just put some onto a cotton ball, have them close their eyes, and rub all along the closed eyelid.  It's pretty stinky but it does the trick.  Repeat several times throughout the day until it's cleared up.

4.  Bumble and Bumble Sumo Wax

I don't really feel I should be giving hair advice at this point.  My hair is so jacked right now.....well, it actually has been for the last year.  After Jason died, my hair was coming out by the fistfuls.  I've never had great hair but this is the thinnest it's ever been.  However, this product is great for taming flyaways and giving it that finished look.

5.  OPI Over the Taupe polish

Such a great neutral shade....and perfect for the fall.

6.  Gold Link Bracelet

I mentioned this bracelet briefly last week but it deserves an official spot on the Friday Favorites list.  This bracelet is awesome!  You can dress it up or wear it with your favorite t-shirt too.  One of my faves for sure.

7.  Favorite Moment of the Week:

Getting our marriage license!!

Happy Friday!

1 Shirt.....4 Looks

It seems like fashion blogs are popping up everywhere these days.  There have been times that I've stumbled across one and I've thought to myself "I could do that."  I had no idea how much time and energy goes into something like that.  Wow.

A huge fashion mistake that I almost always make is that I don't think outside the box.  I get a shirt.....and wear it the same way every single time.  Rarely do I mix things around.  I'm a creature of habit.

So this week I decided to challenge myself by taking a basic piece of clothing from my closet and then create 4 completely different looks with it.  This definitely caused me to get out of my comfort zone.

I started with this basic grey and white knit thin sweater.  I got it last year from Blue Door Boutique.  (here and here and here for something similar)

 #1

Cobalt Blue Blazer by Countess (similar)

Grey and White sweater

Prvcy Dark Skinny Jeans (similar)

Blue Platform Wedges- from Kohls

Long Owl necklace, silver watch, blue and black bead bracelets

#2

Grey and white sweater

Imitation JCrew Bubble Necklace- got mine on Ebay for about 15 bucks!

Modern Skinny Jean- from The Loft

Turquoise Sandal- from H&M (here and here and here)

Gold boyfriend watch- Charming Charlie

 #3

Black Olivia Moon Blazer- Nordstrom

Grey and White sweater

Red skinny jeans- from White House Black Market

Black and White Snake Skin Wedge- White House Black Market

Black Bead Necklace

#4 (not very unique but so very practical....I am a preschool teacher afterall)

Grey and White Sweater

Jeans de Fleur- by Vault Denim Jeans

Pewter flats- JC Penney

Multi strand long necklace

silver watch

Black Coach bag

Okay, so I learned that this fashion stuff takes quite a while to pull together.  I have no idea how some girls do this on a daily basis.  Second, I felt like such a gimp taking pictures of myself.  Seriously.  Weird.  I got a good laugh during this process though!!

Sorry that the lighting is horrible.  What can you say for the wonderful bathroom lights? I can see why using a tripod and remote on your digital camera would definitely be worth using if this was something you planned to do on a regular basis.  Which I do not.  :)

Like I said, this was a fun challenge and it really forced me to look at my clothes in a different way.  I'm going to try to get better at mixing things up in my closet!

Missing From My List

 The last several days, I have grabbed a notepad and started jotting down things that needed to be done that day.  I would work hard to check them off one by one before the day was over.  Then, I'd wake up the next day and start another list like this:

I'm getting married in 11 days and I don't see an end in sight.

I was driving home from preschool today and felt frazzled and anxious and overwhelmed.  So much to do.....such little time.  And then it hit me.  What's been missing from my list?

I hate to admit it but I haven't had much quiet time lately.  I haven't cracked my Bible, I haven't attended my Wednesday morning Bible class in a couple of weeks, I have even had a few nights when I've laid my head down and fallen asleep before my prayer ever got started.

Unfortunately we have seasons in our life where our plates are too full and we allow our schedules to become too hectic. And Satan loves every minute of that.  I think Satan is laughing right now at my inability to find balance.  My list is too full of things about me.  Did I ever once think about adding quiet/prayer time to my list?

After the boys go to bed tonight, I plan to spend time doing what I should have been doing all along.

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On another note, I did early voting today!  Literally in and out in 3 minutes.  It was easy peasy.

These big guys had "wear your favorite jersey" to school today.  They are getting too big!

The Last of "the business" stuff

There is an insane amount of "business" stuff that takes place after someone dies.  I'm not talking about the obvious funeral arrangements, etc....  Just stuff.

I know some people that put this off for quite some time.  Not me. I dove right in.  Probably to have a project or to give me something to do.  It felt like every single day my mom and I were making phone calls or attending a meeting or taking this document to that place.  It was exhausting but I hated having it all hanging over my head.

It's hard....or almost impossible to close the book and start a new chapter when you have this stuff still looming overhead.  I was able to get about 80% of these things taken care of in those first few weeks.  But there were a few things that were out of my control and have been hanging around this past year.

I've had lots of people ask me about life insurance since I brought it up the other day.  I certainly don't mention all this to hang my dirty laundry out for others to see.  I do this because I want to save you the heartache, the time, the energy, the money if you can avoid it at all costs.  It's been wonderful to hear so many of you that have since gotten life insurance.  I'm so so glad you did.

The summer before Jason died, we decided to refinance our house.  Interest rates had dropped quite a bit and we were going to lower our house payment a few hundred dollars a month.  We built this house in December of 2000.  We were both working at the time and both of our names were on the loan.  When we did the refinance this last time, I was no longer working....so I didn't provide any income towards the loan.  At closing, Jason signed a majority of the papers.  I do remember signing a few of them but he was the main one.

Never in a million years did we expect Jason to die.  Never did we expect that by me not being on the loan would be a big issue.  Unfortunately, both of these things happened.

Let me back up and say that Jason and I did not have a detailed will.  A couple of years ago, we did draw up some legal documents to determine who would get the boys if something were to happen to both of us. That was taken care of. I guess we were a little naive in thinking that because neither of us had ever been married before, there were no other children outside of our marriage, none of our family would ever contest anything or try to take any of our assets....so we didn't have specific things listed out.  I just assumed that because we were married, he would get it all if I died and I'd get it all if he died. 

Nope, not necessarily the case.  You would be surprised (or maybe not) that companies actually prey on situations like this. It's how they make a ton of their money.

In a nutshell, I own 50% of this house....and so does Jason....even though he's no longer alive.  I know.  It's nuts.  I can live in this house forever, continue to make the payments, etc.....but where it gets hairy is if/when I ever want to sell this house.  Jason still owns half of it.  It's in his name and the friendly people at Chase don't even want to discuss the account with me because I'm technically not on it.

Can you say frustrated?

Last fall I completed a huge stack of papers with Chase, gave them all the important documents (death certificate, marriage license, etc.....) and was told that the loan would be changed to my name only.  I didn't hear from them for several months and when I finally contacted them about it....I was told that my application was incomplete. I was told that I'd need to get legal advice from an attorney and that I'd probably have to go to probate to get this all figured out.  I've since learned that probate can cost several thousand dollars.  To get back what is already mine.  Really?

Thankfully I have a trusted friend/advisor that has helped me resolve this issue. On Friday, I refinanced and signed the papers on the house.....making it 100% mine.  And making it the last of the business stuff that needs to be taken care of. 

Looking back, I would make 2 key changes to this scenario.  First, I would have just stayed on the refinance loan with Jason.  Yes, it's several more papers to sign and makes the closing process a little longer but it would have been worth it to avoid this mess.  Second, we would have had a detailed will that specifically stated that the house and everything else was 100% mine if anything were to happen to Jason.  Lesson learned.  The hard way.

Please make sure that both you and your spouse are on your mortgage.  And please, please get a will.

This mortgage mess was the last ( I think and hope!) of the "stuff" hanging over my head.  I feel like I can fully close this chapter now.  Once and for all.  Thank you Lord.

Pumpkin Patch

Last night we ventured out to the pumpkin patch.  We were a little disappointed because the pumpkin patch we have been going to for YEARS closed down.  It was the coolest place.......it had a big train that rode all around the property.  We always looked forward to going each year.  So a couple of weeks ago, I found a Groupon for another local pumpkin patch and decided to give it a try.  It wasn't the same but the kids seemed to have a good time anyways.

 On the barrel ride

 Running through the maze

 Soon to be cousins (Shawn's niece and nephew)

 With my sweet Coop

 Fun on the hay ride!

 Pony rides

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So I've been getting lots of messages, texts and emails from people lately asking where I get certain clothes.  I kind of feel weird listing brands and stores for everything I wear but it seems that I am spending a lot of time lately responding to people individually about it.  I was thinking I might add some outfits to the Friday Favorites post or maybe do a few each week with different outfits.  Not really sure......  Thoughts?

This sweater that I'm wearing isn't anything special but I did have 2 different girls last night at dinner ask me where I got it so I thought I'd include that on here.  I got it a couple of weeks ago at Stein Mart. I love the color and the material is thin enough for this crazy Texas weather but the color and style make it a good transitional piece.  It's made by Design 365.  I got these boots at Famous Footwear.  Sunglasses are from here, and the bracelet (which should be listed on my Friday Favorites because it's one of my favorite pieces I own) is from here.

Friday Favorites

1.  Shark Tank

Love this show! It comes on ABC on Friday nights.  I usually record it and then Shawn and I watch it together on Sunday evenings.  I love seeing all the cool ideas that people come up with.

2.  POP Beauty Concealer

I came across this concealer a few years ago while searching for an under eye concealer at Ulta one day.  The girl working there suggested this product to me so I decided to give it a try.  First, it's an amazing concealer.  Not only does it hide blemishes but it also corrects them too.  This product is 2 sided- it has the concealer stick on one end and then an under eye product that gives your eyes just enough brightness to camouflage any dark circles or bags.

3.  Dream Lites Pillow Pet

A month or so ago, my mom bought this dog pillow pet for Cooper.  At first I thought it was too babyish for him but he actually really likes it.  He's the kind of kid that lays in bed for a bit before he falls asleep.  Sometimes I can hear him talking to himself in bed.  This pillow pet displays a light show on the ceiling and it gives him something to look at while he's winding down and trying to fall asleep.  Does he have to have it to sleep?  No.  But he really enjoys it so it's a win-win.

4.  Chicken Tortilla Soup

I mentioned the other day that I love homemade soups. This is hands down my favorite tortilla soup recipe.  This lady is a genius in the kitchen!

5.  Shepherd's Hook

A must have for anyone that has a high bar in the top of their closet.  I should have gotten this thing 12 years ago.....

6.  My favorite gift

A while back, Shawn gave me the best present ever.  Seriously.  Something so very simple but something that is so sweet and special to me.

Inside this little porcelain box contains tiny strips of paper......each one lists something about me that he loves.  I appreciate so much that he took the time to write these all out and share them with me.  Not sure if you can read the one at the top that is opened up.  It says "because we both loved Jason."  See why I love this man so much?

Happy Friday!

What a difference a year can make

Today, Shawn and I went to pick up his ring.  We went to the Galleria and got some last minute honeymoon clothes.  I went to his house to tell him what to bring with him when he moves in and what to donate/get rid of.  Lots of big changes coming up in the next few weeks!

We were talking today about what a difference a year can make. Seriously, I had no idea what was in store for me this time last year.  Last October I was sad and overwhelmed and heartbroken and lost.  I am so humbled and excited about what God has done for us this last year.  Even though my journey looks so very different.....I remind myself all the time that God's plan is perfect.

This last year I have been reminded that we are not promised tomorrow.  I am trying to live in the moment....instead of on the sidelines.  Today I am choosing joy and my heart is overflowing with gratitude and hope for my future.  God really is so, so good.

Painting Pumpkins and Creepy Pizzas

Last night the boys made some creepy pizzas while I made dinner. AKA: sugar cookies with gummy worms and gumball eyes.  They thought it was fun.  You know, boys and gross things are a sure combination!

 For the last 6-7 years we have painted pumpkins during the month of October.  We let the boys paint them and then set them around the house (or on the porch) for decoration.  Then a few days before Halloween, we choose a few designs and carve something into them.  It's a tradition that the boys really enjoy.

 Even a certain someone got into it.....

We kind of got a late start last night and by the time we let some of the paint dry in order to keep painting.....we had to stop and head to bed.  So, we still have a few small details to add but they are almost done.  I'll post pictures once we are all finished.

I was looking back at some older posts and came across this:

Painting pumpkins in 2007.  I'm pretty sure this just happened the other day, right?

Friday Favorites

1.  The Boyfriend Watch

I've seen lots of girls sporting watches similar to this one.  I've gone back and forth on whether I want to invest in something like this but I found a similar one at Charming Charlies for WAY less........like $250 less. I still achieve the same look for a fraction of the price.

2.  Tomato Soup

I LOVE to make homemade soups.  Tomato is probably one of my favorites.  This is one of my favorite recipes but sometimes I need something quick for lunch and in that situation, I turn to Pacific Natural for a healthy alternative.

This organic soup is so so yummy.  It comes in a cardboard carton (instead of yucky cans) and contains healthy/organic ingredients.  My Kroger by me has a huge organic/natural section.  I'm sure you can find this at Sprouts, Whole Foods, or Central Market.

3.  Stripes

I was standing in my closet the other day.....trying to figure out what I was going to wear....when I discovered that I must have a slight obsession with stripes.......

....and polka dots too! (and this isn't even all the stripe/polka dot stuff!)

4.  Space Ant Habitat

For Christmas, Cooper got this ant farm.  It took me a while to send off for the ants but we finally got around to doing it about a month ago.  These ants dig and tunnel their way through the gel. The best part is that the gel contains food for them so there is nothing you have to do except watch.  My kind of pet!!

5.  White Chocolate Candy Corn M&Ms

So I found this cute Halloween jar at Kohls the other day......and went searching for candy corns to put inside.  There wasn't a single bag to be found but I did stumble on these candy corn flavored M&M's.  Seriously, amazing. This is exactly why I don't keep sugar products in my house!!

6.  Favorite Quote of the week:

Hudson was telling me about how these 2 girls at school told him that they have a crush on him.  He said there was a 3rd girl in the picture but she decided to break up for some reason.  Then:

"Girls are so weird.  I'm getting too old for all this."

Ha Ha!  I told him "just wait.....you are just getting started!"