It's Friday Yall

Is it just me or has this week seemed to draaaaaag on?  Whew, so glad it's Friday!

Cooper and Rudy.  Yes, I'm aware that my dog desperately needs to visit the groomer.

Enjoying the last of his Valentine's Day stash. I will be SO glad when that is all gone. This boy has gotten smart over the years and realized that mom likes to pitch all the extra candy and treats that are laying around.  Now, he takes personal inventory and knows exactly how much he has.  Our deal is that he gets one every other day after school.  Ugh.  Picking my battles (and praying for no cavities)

The other night we were watching TV and some wild pig was on and Rudy was quite intrigued.  He sat like this for at least 5 minutes and just watched.  Too funny.

Last Saturday was National Margarita Day.  I couldn't forget to celebrate that one. That would have been rude.

Saw this shirt and got a huge kick out of it!  Last Sunday several of my FB friends were running the Cowtown and seeing all their posts made me feel super duper lazy.

Earlier this week, Cooper and I had about 50 minutes after school to kill while Hudson was at art class.  I was craving a coffee so I took my little with me to the drive-thru and he got his very first cup of white hot chocolate (I know.....did you about gasp when you read this?  You see, I'm pretty smart though.  I haven't fully introduced my boys to the world of insanely priced coffee and hot chocolate because right now, I'm only wanting to support my coffee addiction)  He felt like such a big boy!

One day after school, Cooper asks "can we snuggle?"  I mean......how do you say no to that?

Playing piano....shirtless and all.

Can I get an amen on this?

Have a great weekend!!

Wool Dryer Balls

6-7 years ago when I really started making some big changes at our house in regards to our contact with chemicals and toxins......dryer sheets was one of the first things I eliminated.  I had read countless articles that explained all the junk that they are coated in and all that junk basically absorbs into our clothes and towels and then is transferred to us.  This article is short and to the point. (or you can google "are dryer sheets toxic" and see what you find)  It's not pretty.

So for the last several years I have done laundry without dryer sheets and I've actually gotten used to it.  But there has always been a small part of me that missed a light, fresh scent (however, the synthetic perfumes in dryer sheets is VERY overbearing for me.  I just want something simple)

A couple of months ago I heard about wool dryer balls.  I was laying in bed one night and stumbled on a tutorial and bookmarked it on my phone.  A couple of weeks ago, I decided to give that tutorial a try and I made my own wool dryer balls.

Probably my newest obsession.

There are lots of benefits to using wool dryer balls instead of dryer sheets.

And the best part.......is that I can put a few drops of Young Living Lavender essential oil on each ball and this gives the perfect amount of fragrance (not synthetic because this oil is 100% pure lavender) to our clothes.

V-Day Love....

This is the first year that Hudson didn't take Valentines to school.  Sniff, sniff.  Yep, intermediate school does not promote bringing stuff for classmates......so this year it was just Cooper that participated.

We went simple/old school this Valentine's Day.  No pinterest inspired creations over here.  But that's okay.  Cooper loved them just the same.

(Lego Star Wars with a glow stick attached)

Loving on their Grammy!

My precious boys!

They had heart shaped pizza and a smores pizza and drank sparkling grape juice in fancy glasses.

On Saturday, we went to my sister's house for a birthday party.  With my mama.

Me, mom, and Julie (my sister)

Enjoying a kid-free night.  Boys having a blast at Mimi's house.

On Sunday night, Shawn and I celebrated our VDay dinner at Trulucks.  I had never been so it was a nice treat.

Yummy blueberry martini.  Yum-o!!!  Pretty sure I could have had 10 of these....

Sweet boy loves him some calamari.  I've tried to jump on that train but I just can not do it.

This simple girl is happy with some sweet potato fries!

Dessert.  Calories and carbs don't count on this day, right?

We had a great night together.  It was good to talk and reflect back on our short time together.  It was interesting because we talked about Jason and his death and all those months afterward when Shawn was in our lives and loving on the boys.  We talked about how amazed we still are at our story.....about how God has protected the boys and me and how His plan of bringing Shawn into our lives was nothing short of a miracle.  It's a strange mix of pain and thankfulness all bundled into one.  

I thank God every single day for Shawn and my life (even though it's not the life I would have chosen) and I appreciate so much that he showed me that it is possible to love again.

Hope you had a great heart day!!!

Friends and Sweet Babies

The weather here has been so crazy!  Several days of sleet and snow and now this week we are looking at 60's and 70's.  This was taken a few days ago when I was at preschool.  You can't see it but huge snowflakes were falling down.  Very pretty!

On Friday, I met my friend Laura for lunch.  Laura and I met and became fast friends in college.  I hate so much that we don't see each other daily (she lives in FW and it's just far enough to not be close) because I know if we did, we would spend so much time together.  You have those friends that just bless you so much when you are together....and this is one of them for me!

Laura's precious family consists of her hubby and 3 adorable kiddos.  It was put on their hearts to adopt and they got this sweet pea on Christmas day. Isn't she the best!?

Meeting Miss Emersyn for the first time.

This and That

This weekend, Hudson and I were looking through one of our family photo albums.  I kept going back to this one.  Look how tiny Hudson was!  We were on a family vacation in Missouri and went to a butterfly farm.  Such great memories!

Um, I guess it's time for new pants.  High waters are not cool.

Our 21 day cleanse is officially over but I'm continuing on......with the eating part anyways.  11 down and about 14 more to go.  Feeling good and determined!

We have officially entered the "braces" phase. Someone was not a happy camper with his new expander but he is getting more used to it now.

On the way to school this morning:

"You know how we write messages on balloons and then send them up to heaven for dad....wouldn't it be great if he could write one and then tie a heavy piece of iron to the string and drop it down right by our house? Then we could write to each other."

Ugh.  Those questions and comments kill me every.single.time.

I'm pretty sure if I won the lottery that I could easily spend half of it here. What about you? Where is your splurge place?

Roller Coaster

I've said so many times that the one thing I hate most about grief is that it's unpredictable.  You never prepare for it and it comes out of nowhere.  Not that I would ever want to pencil a "grief day" into my schedule but something about knowing it was about to happen might soften it just a tad.

I got knocked down hard on Saturday.  It was bad.  I could not control the tears.  I just couldn't.  I had to avoid the boys most of the afternoon (thankfully Cooper was at a birthday party and Hudson had math tutoring and some other stuff) because my face was a wreck. We had plans to go to Shawn's parents house that afternoon and I just couldn't.  I think my body was telling me that I needed a day to grieve....and to grieve hard.

Oh, I hate days like Saturday.  While they don't seem to happen as often .....they are dreaded and unwanted.  The pain in my heart, the questions in my head....asking why and being mad that this is my life.  I have horrible, uncontrollable feelings like not wanting to be a mom, or a wife, or even here for that matter.  It's awful.  I don't even feel like myself when I have days like that.  I just want to disappear.

This grief journey is much like a scary roller coaster ride.  And you never get off.  One day my life was normal and the next day I was permanently belted into this coaster with zero chance of ever returning to normal life.  Some days the ride is fairly smooth with a few bumps.  Some days there are more twists and turns....or dark tunnels that lead to the unknown.  Some days are full blown drops and upside down loops.  And I'm pissed that I can't get off.  Actually, I'm pissed that I even had to get on in the first place.

Today the ride is much smoother.