Monday, October 20, 2014
If you've been reading this blog then you know that October 5 was the 3 year anniversary. So weird because it seems like yesterday and forever all in one. I decided to not make a big deal over this date. Some may frown upon that......I don't know, I'm not sure there is one right way to "celebrate" that event. I messaged a couple of girls that I "know" on Facebook that are also widows and both said that they didn't do much either. For me, it's a day I just want to stay in bed. I guess because all the others days I am forced to get up, be a mom, be a wife, work at preschool and I make myself live life even though he's not here. The anniversary seems like a good time to do what is finally best for ME in all of this. That weekend, sweet boy took the boys to the movies and had fun with them and he allowed me to just be. Sometimes that is really what I need. I need a break from being emotionally responsible for someone else.
Getting our fall decorations out was hard again for me this year. I know you probably can relate in some way to this......we all have those moments when a certain smell or a song will take you back to some past event. I got my fall decorations out and up the weekend before he died and I spent a couple of months staring at it during those whirlwind days when my brain was desperately trying to process my new reality. The sight of pumpkins and leaves and anything fall takes me back to that place. Ugh, it's hard. Those first few months were brutal.
The boys and I still have our days. Some are way better than others. I've found myself if a funk off and on for a few weeks and I'm sure it will continue into the holidays. My new normal.
Since then, we have been busy with school. Sixth grade is sort of kicking our butts right now. Not sure who is ready for summer more- Hudson or me? I am so over this homework.
My mom came and stayed with us and we took the boys to see the Alexander movie- which was super cute and funny!
Yesterday, sweet boy and I went to the Cowboy game with some friends. Shawn's birthday was in August so for his birthday I told him to pick a game and I would buy the tickets. It was a great game (we won!) and a great time to catch up with friends.
Saturday, October 4, 2014
On Thursday, my son came home from school and told me that he got bit on the playground. (he swore it was a tick) It was a tiny red dot so I put purification on it and didn't think about it again. On Friday, while getting ready for school he complained again. I went to apply oils and noticed that is was a little bigger and still red. I used purification and lavender and took him to school.
Friday was early release for my kids. When my son got into the car at noon, his bite was really red and swollen. The nurse had drawn a circle around the area so that I could tell if the infection was spreading.
The area continued to swell, get red and warm to the touch. And it started traveling outside the line. (He has a history of allergic reactions to ant bites)
According to my Reference Guide book: basil, sage and thyme all have anti toxic and anti venomous properties. So I set my kitchen timer and began rubbing oils on the area every 15 minutes (alternating them) and also putting cinnamon bark on the bottom of his feet. I did this into the evening.
We woke up this morning and the area is normal size with only a small red pinpoint spot. (no "after" pictures right now...he's 11 and already annoyed with all this extra attention)
So thankful for my oils!!
Monday, September 22, 2014
Sometimes I come here to write and nothing comes. The words are not there. I figure that most people probably feel I should be over this by now. But I'm not. I feel like a broken record at times. How many different ways can you say "this sucks?"
I get messages from people every now and then and they thank me for still writing. They tell me that my words help them and that they too are not "over it." What they don't realize is that this helps me more than they know because sometimes I feel very alone in this journey. I feel misunderstood at times. Not intentionally but the reality is: people who haven't experienced this loss just don't understand.
I remember the first session or two of counseling that I went to after Jason died (it was about 6 weeks after his death) the counselor told me that at some point, I will be able to talk about Jason with only fond memories. I will smile when I reflect on his life and there will be no tears. I'm still waiting for that. Don't get me wrong....I talk about him often without crying. But there are still lots of tears and lots of longing to see him still. Most of that happens during my alone time.
Over the last almost 3 years I have learned to put a smile on. I can say with confidence that time has not healed my heart....it has only allowed me time to improve my "I've got it all together" act. It can be exhausting.
I want to encourage you today if you have experienced a loss.....whether it be a parent, a child, a spouse, or a friend....don't let others tell you when you should be over it. I'm convinced this is a lifelong journey of creating balance in my life.....allowing my heart to grieve Jason while I embrace the moment that I am in. I still don't have it perfected. I'm trying.
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Are you taking steps to keep your family healthy during this fall season when the flu and sickness seem to really strike hard? I am offering a promotion from now until Sept 21 for anyone that purchases the Young Living Premium Starter kit. These oils have kept us out of the doctor office and off medication (for allergies, acid reflux, gastritis and more)
As always, I will mail you the Reference Guide book. It's a must have! I will send you a Ningxia Nitro to try and I will put a $15 product credit on your account to be used towards a future purchase.
Just a reminder of some of the things these oils can be used for.
You get the 11 oils plus the home diffuser.
I will add you to my private Facebook group where you will learn about the oils and have an opportunity to ask questions. It's a wonderful resource.
Go to: http://www.youngliving.com/en_US Click "member sign-up" in the top right corner Choose "wholesale member" (because customer makes you pay retail) Use my number 1497619 for both the enroller and sponsor ID Fill in your personal information Create your username, password and pin (please write these down and keep in a safe place) Pick your starter kit- you will choose the first option- the premium starter kit with diffuser ($150) On the optional Essential Rewards kit....choose no thank you (unless you want one) Enter payment info Before clicking submit, you have the option to add other products if needed (message me if you have specific issues and I can recommend oils if they are not part of the kit) You are finished!!
Friday, August 29, 2014
My boys started school on Monday. I will admit. I wasn't quite ready. Of course there were days this summer that I craved routine and structure. But I never missed doing homework, packing lunches, or spending an hour each day going through 2 school pick-up lines to get my kids.
Cooper- first day of 3rd grade.
Hudson- first day of 6th grade.
Cooper has a male teacher this year.....which is rare. He really likes him so far.
It's been really quiet around here this week. I'm sort of looking forward to going back to preschool in the next couple of weeks. Gives me something to do and lets me socialize with some friends.
Hard to believe that this is the third school year we have started without Jason. I wish I could say that it was easier or that the void seemed less noticeable but I can't. He is missed in such huge ways still.
Last night, Cooper and I were looking through pictures for his class assignment. He was told to bring pictures of his family and favorite things and they would be putting them together on a poster. Obviously, Cooper wanted to include Jason......which I love. But as I scrolled through pictures looking for the perfect one it became so clear that time is moving on. We are growing and changing and he isn't. The pictures of Jason and Cooper together are a treasure....but Coop looks so small and it hurts that we have none that are current. It was impossible for me to look through them without crying. This all still seems so unfair. Why did they have to lose such a great dad?
Cooper is also starting to mature in his grief and he realizes that he got the shaft. He has made several comments to me about Hudson getting Jason for 8 years while he only had him for 5. He's envious that I had him for over 12 years....he gets really emotional when he talks about this. Even at 8 years old now, he can comprehend that 5 years just wasn't enough.
Today I am sad. Nothing specific. Nothing new. Just one of those days where it's harder to tuck the emotions inside and pretend it's all okay. Allowing myself to feel it and work through it. Tomorrow is a new day......
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
My boys start back to school next Monday, August 25. While we've had our fair share of germ exposure this summer (trampoline parks, water parks, etc.....) there is something about the start of school that seems to suppress the immune system for kids. It's probably the anxiety and fear of a new year starting. Add the stress of homework and all the after school activities they are involved in. Mix that together and we start to see kids that are worn out and run down and sickness starts to set in.
I made this Immune Boost roll-on for my boys and have started applying it to the bottom of their feet at night before bed. I'm wanting to get a jump start on strengthening their immune systems so that we can avoid sickness. All of these oils are known to stimulate the immune system.
For the rest of August.....anyone that purchases a Premium Starter Kit through me will get an Immune Boost roll-on FREE. As always, I send you the Reference Guide book ($16 value) and add you to my private Facebook group page where we educate you on how to use these amazing oils.
Click here to get started. I'll mail you the book and FREE Immune Boost roll-on as soon as the order is completed. Offer expires August 31, 2014 at midnight.
Monday, August 18, 2014
I love when I have my act together and actually plan a menu for the week. Goes SO much smoother when I do it.
Homemade Mashed Potatoes
Salad with creamy basil dressing
Fresh green beans
Breakfast for dinner.....scrambled eggs, bacon, fresh fruit
Turkey and Cheese Sliders
Homemade Baked Beans
Sun Chips and pickle spears