If you've been reading this blog then you know that October 5 was the 3 year anniversary. So weird because it seems like yesterday and forever all in one. I decided to not make a big deal over this date. Some may frown upon that......I don't know, I'm not sure there is one right way to "celebrate" that event. I messaged a couple of girls that I "know" on Facebook that are also widows and both said that they didn't do much either. For me, it's a day I just want to stay in bed. I guess because all the others days I am forced to get up, be a mom, be a wife, work at preschool and I make myself live life even though he's not here. The anniversary seems like a good time to do what is finally best for ME in all of this. That weekend, sweet boy took the boys to the movies and had fun with them and he allowed me to just be. Sometimes that is really what I need. I need a break from being emotionally responsible for someone else.
Getting our fall decorations out was hard again for me this year. I know you probably can relate in some way to this......we all have those moments when a certain smell or a song will take you back to some past event. I got my fall decorations out and up the weekend before he died and I spent a couple of months staring at it during those whirlwind days when my brain was desperately trying to process my new reality. The sight of pumpkins and leaves and anything fall takes me back to that place. Ugh, it's hard. Those first few months were brutal.
The boys and I still have our days. Some are way better than others. I've found myself if a funk off and on for a few weeks and I'm sure it will continue into the holidays. My new normal.
Since then, we have been busy with school. Sixth grade is sort of kicking our butts right now. Not sure who is ready for summer more- Hudson or me? I am so over this homework.
My mom came and stayed with us and we took the boys to see the Alexander movie- which was super cute and funny!
Yesterday, sweet boy and I went to the Cowboy game with some friends. Shawn's birthday was in August so for his birthday I told him to pick a game and I would buy the tickets. It was a great game (we won!) and a great time to catch up with friends.
