Loving Me

I'm quite certain that it takes a special person to date a widow.  In all honesty......I couldn't do it.  Loving me is complicated and hard.

In order to love/date someone that has lost a spouse....you have to be confident.  You must have thick skin. You can't be jealous.  You can't harp on the "what ifs."  You have to be understanding and sensitive and mature.

I couldn't do it.

I would probably compare myself to her.  I would more than likely feel that I could never be good enough or fill her shoes.  I would tell myself that the only reason we were together is because she was gone.  I would probably get my feelings hurt to know that she still had part of his heart.

Loving me means that even though there is happiness and joy.....there will always be a small part of sadness too.  Loving me requires an understanding that Jason will always be a part of this journey.  Most days are happy and good but loving me promises to see hard days mixed in as well.

God knew exactly what he was doing when He brought a certain someone into my life.  Some days I feel bad that loving me isn't always so simple.....but for whatever reason, this sweet boy loves me anyways.

School

My big 4th grader!

Helping Cooper find his hook

 My big 1st grader!

 With their precious teachers!  I prayed all summer about their teachers and all I can say is that God definitely provided.  The boys got the sweetest, most amazing teachers ever.  

Sparkle

I remember shortly after Jason died, my sister commented on a photo on Facebook and said something like "I hope I get to see the sparkle in my sister's eyes again one day."  That made me sad because she was right.  The sparkle was gone.  And honestly I had no idea if it would ever come back.

I can look back at pictures from after his death and in many of them my eyes look watery....some look distant......most look distraught.  Even though I tried to put on the happy face, my eyes told another story.  Recently, I've had people mention or comment on pictures that I have the sparkle back.  And it's true.  Love is an amazing thing.

Today I find myself feeling grateful.  And at peace.  I like days like today.

Day at the Museum

This is our last week of summer!  Yesterday, the boys and I met Carey and the girls at the museum.  It was a super fun day!

 Cooper loved getting this guy to burp

 With Hannah and Maya.  Hard to believe that these girls are actually the boys AUNTS!

 Grossology was the perfect exhibit for boys!

 The huge Operation table

 On a bed of nails

 My handsome little fireman!

Playing on the huge Light Bright screen.

Sad that summer is coming to an end.......

Home Again

We got home last night from our trip to Georgia.  Although we had a good time, it was soooo nice to get back into my own bed.  

Here is that view from the deck that I mentioned the other day:

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 Riding the Marta (train) from the airport

Feeding the ducks in the backyard

 The boys LOVED this and fed them every morning and night

 Checking out the exercise equipment

 Fun on the bounce houses

 Inside the hurricane simulator

 Fun at the pool

 Water fights with my step mom, Frieda

 Making stepping stones with my dad

 Making cupcakes

 Shawn joined us on Friday.  We went to this really neat park that had this river running through it.

 What started out with the boys just walking on the rocks....ended with Cooper slipping and falling in.  So, they decided to go ahead and get wet.  They had a blast!

 Saturday night we went to Stone Mountain.  We went to the top....

 Very pretty views!

 With my dad

 On Sunday, we went to church with Brad...who was one of Shawn and Jason's good friends from college.  After church, we met another friend and his family for lunch at Chuy's.  It was neat to catch up!

Sweet Friends!