The Chair

Let me start off by saying.......the thought of having another child right now sends me over the edge. I can't imagine bringing another baby into our lives at this point (although I've always wanted and dreamed of having several kids. That's another post) I know and understand that my plate is full and I'm really okay with where we are at as a family. (however, thoughts about later down the road and wondering if I should have had another child do enter my mind. Again, another post for another time) So, that leaves me to the point of the chair. In a couple of weeks, Cooper will have brand spankin' new furniture and will no longer be bound by the bars of his crib. With that said, we are selling our crib furniture. I really don't have strong emotional ties to that furniture. My sister gave it to me when her kids had outgrown it. I didn't pick it out. I didn't drool over it in the store window and have dreams about it before we purchased it. We were lucky to be given free nursery furniture and we gladly accepted it. My boys have both used it well. Although selling the furniture is a huge step in defining our family (and the fact that we no longer have babies here) it really won't be hard for me to part with it. However, I did not realize how hard it would be for me to sell my chair. This chair isn't fancy. It didn't cost a ton of money or come from a high end store. I don't necessarily care about the chair as much as I do the memories it holds for me. I think about all the books that were read, the songs that were sung, and the prayers that were prayed in that chair. It seems like just yesterday that we brought Hudson home and I sat in the chair the first night, scared to death. I remember looking at him and feeling so nervous about my responsibilities as a new mom. Every single day and night for the past 6 years (with the exception of some nights that they stayed with grandparents) I've rocked someone in that chair. I recall when Hudson was a few months old- he was hardly sleeping through the night. I was so tired and up with him a lot and I felt like I practically lived in that chair. I remember thinking "one day...... this will pass and I won't be so tired and I won't need to rock in this chair." So here we are 6 years later and time has flown by. This chair holds countless memories for me and today I realized just how hard it will be for me to let it go.

With Hudson, just a few months old.

Cooper in the chair- almost a year old.Some not so good moments too!
Hanging with daddy.......while Cooper throws a fit.

Bonding as brothers.

Deep down I know it's not really the chair that I'll miss. It's just the realization that we are entering a different stage in our lives. And if you know me.......then you know that change is hard for me to swallow.