As a newlywed in my early twenties, I was surrounded by lots of friends that were also newly married. We were able to spend time together as couples and learn/grow from each other. We were able to share stories or situations with each other as we adjusted from being single to married.....and it was really nice to have friends that were in the same season of life as me.
As a new mom in my mid to late twenties, I had a huge group of friends that were also experiencing mommy hood for the first time. What a lifesaver it was to have friends to talk with as our babies went through different stages. Bouncing ideas off each other or just checking in to make sure that what our kids were doing was completely normal was such a blessing.
Once our firstborn children started big kid school......how awesome to have friends that also had kids entering kindergarten. We were able to cry together and once again share issues or stories or moments of joy with each other. Looking back, I feel that I have been completely surrounded by awesome friends that were also experiencing a similar season in life.
Unfortunately, I'm in a season where I have zero friends that can relate to me. Of course they can be supportive and help me in huge ways......praying for me, physically blessing me, empathizing for me.......but none of them fully relate to my situation. I don't have anyone to call that understands my pain. Of course I have connected with a few other young widows since Jason died but none of them are my closest friends. How I long to have someone in my circle that just "gets" what I'm feeling. Don't get me wrong.....I do not wish this life on anyone and I certainly hope and pray that none of my good friends lose their spouse. I guess I'm just saying that I often feel all alone...like an island...when it comes to my grief. Now that I'm remarried, there is a whole new dimension to my grief: learning to love and start over while a huge part of your heart is broken. That is hard and complicated and I long to have a good friend that understands when my grief creeps in and makes it hard to feel happiness.
"You know what I long for, Lord;
you hear my every sigh."
you hear my every sigh."
Psalm 38:9
6 comments:
Be near oh God. Be near sweet Jennifer as she goes through this huge trial in life. The trial you knew would happen before she was born. The trial you knew would mold her and shape her into the woman you created her to be. Help her to feel your daddy arms wrapped around her and your comfort and peace as she not only deals with this grief, but also as she experiences new joys. Bring into her life a dear person that can relate to her and share her pain and hard moments. Bless her new precious husband and help him to be the helpmate she needs and give them a new understanding of you through this. Thank you that you love her with an everlasting love.
Be blessed sweet daughter of the King!!!
Thankfully our Savior understands perfectly what you are going through. I know that what you want is someone you can talk with face to face, however, I am grateful that when there is no one on earth that we know well that knows what we are going through, we all have a Savior that understands our heart aches and pains with a perfect understanding. I hope that you are able to find some comfort in pouring your soul out to our Savior. Good luck and God be with you!
Yes, you are in a unique place being a young widow - then remarried on top of it. There are people out there(bloggers even) who can relate, but it's not the same when they're not close to you.
I read your first few descriptions in this post with a bit of envy... all the experiences a woman hopes for... being a young bride, young mother... how blessed.
I read your conclusion with understanding. I thought, that's kind of what it's like to be 40+and single, without children. There's no one to relate to.
Couples at church avoid you, certainly don't seek you out, and they can't understand your pain - and unknowingly squash it, most times. You may have more kindred spirits than you know.
I have a friend who lost his wife in 2011... I'll share some info with you via email.
Blessings to you!
My friend is a widow of three years and she's said that most would not understand either. She is just now feeling capable of even being a friend with a man, let alone dating or marriage, but she is excited to see what may come from the Lord in her future. You will move past the all-consuming grief although it will come in stages, like you said it is doing. You and your husband are working through this together, leaning into the Lord, so it will be all right. Will pray for someone in your life, even if you haven't met yet, to be able to be a special blessing to you in this. So appreciate your sharing this so we can pray more specifically with you. My heart hurts for you....praying for you and yours.
I love your openness and realness in your journey. It is a blessing to us. I hate that you have to go through this grief. I wish grief was faster. But I'm so glad we have a savior to give it all to. You are a precious woman! Sending love your way.
Sweetie, remember that Satan would love to steal the joy of your newfound love and marriage. Don't let him! Joshua 1:9
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